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They’re at it again

DVD

“Great” news, folks - those much-vaunted Suspiria remake plans have resurfaced and are once again doing the rounds. This project has cropped up so many times and in so many different guises in the last couple of years that I’m now fairly confident that it will, thankfully, probably never see the light of day, but I still feel compelled to report on the latest buzz surrounding this travesty.

Today, courtesy of the MTV Movies Blog and Shock Till You Drop, I introduce you to David Gordon Green, the man best known for such southern coming of age hits as George Washington and All the Real Girls. The perfect choice, I’m sure you’ll agree, to stamp his own distinctive mark on a horror classic, particularly given his plans to turn this “low budget Italian 70’s gore movie” into “a pretty amazing, ambitious, artistic (version)”.

Um, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t there already a pretty amazing, ambitious, artistic film called Suspiria?

The writers of the articles in question seem to have a lot more respect for the original than Green does. The MTV piece describes it as “an indisputable horror classic” (and I detect a hint of sarcasm in the discussion of the choice of director for this proposed remake), whereas Green, with his “oooh, aaah, I’m going to take this weird little low budget gore movie and turn it into Art, but I’ve got so many other ideas for projects so you might have to wait for a while before you can bask in the glory of my creativity” attitude, does indeed come across as a smarmy git. If he loves the original so much, I can’t for the life of me fathom why he would want to remake it.

It might not be the next thing on Green’s plate to direct since he has a lot of ideas including a big-budget action movie, adapting John Grisham’s non-fiction book “An Innocent Man” and a “medieval project.”

It certainly wouldn’t be Green’s last venture into horror if the other idea he told us about comes to fruition. “I’d also like to start a straight-to-video action company that just does genre movies. Me and my friend Darius just finished the script called “One in the Chamber.” It’s just a guy going to get his kidnapped son out of prison. Give me a couple million bucks to go explore some schlock. I’d like to be the next Roger Corman. He would have his hand in freakin’ ‘Piranha’ but also in Fellini. I like that idea. I would love to do some genre stuff but also some crazy intimate, no-budget movies. That’s my problem. I only have one me, and I have a limited number of years before I die, and the biggest problem is that I like to do a lot of stuff that has nothing to do with movies and movies are very time-consuming, so you have to make choices, and that’s really frustrating.”

Boy, this guy has so many “ideas” I’m surprised his head isn’t bursting. It must be hard being so creative.

 
Posted: Friday, March 07, 2008 at 1:27 PM | Comments: 11
Categories: Cinema | Dario Argento

 
Comments

1.

I am currently rather ill. In my weakened state I will therefore ignore this until it goes away.

Posted by: Baron Scarpia, March 7, 2008 4:36 PM

2.

I'm beginning to regret having spread this tidbit around.

Posted by: Jeffrey Allen Rydell, March 7, 2008 6:31 PM

3.

I'll break the negativity and say George Washington is a good movie (and a good President too). But this is ridiculous.

I never quite understood the "I love it so I must remake it" mentality. Christopher Nolan's Insomnia remake for example. I love Nolan, Batman Begins and Memento are both equally fantastic, but what on Earth was he thinking with Insomnia?

Acording to the DVD featurette, when he walked out of the 1997 original, he was "so blown away that he turned around to his colleague and said 'We HAVE to remake this!'"

Because, you know, that's what we all say when we are blown away by a film. I for once would remake films that I think didn't live to their full potential. Dune for example (if I could I'd do it). But I'd be shot down by internet movie geeks, so I won't attempt it.

I'll say don't worry about it. The other attempts to remake Suspiria fell apart over ridiculous reasons.

Posted by: Marcus, March 7, 2008 8:24 PM

4.

Peter Berg's already moving forward with his Dune remake/re-imagining. If anyone can make a mediocre film out of such complex material, it would be he.

I wish Lucky McGee had pushed the boat out a bit more when he did The Woods (which I quite like, even though it's messy) because that would be all the remake/homaging Suspiria would ever need.

Posted by: anephric, March 7, 2008 10:21 PM

5.

There is going to be a bargain bin full of these direct-to-video remakes soon.

Posted by: avanze, March 8, 2008 2:39 AM

6.

Had McGee retitled "The Woods" as either "Suspiria" or "Phenomena", it would have gotten a major theatrical release in a matter of seconds.

Posted by: Marcus, March 8, 2008 5:44 AM

7.

Sorry but Lucky McGee is not even half of what Argento is today!
Soem claim he's the future of horror, along with Eli Roth and others. If this is the future then I dont want any part of it!

Posted by: ARCVILE, March 8, 2008 7:06 PM

8.

Actually, David Gordon Green is a fine director. If anyone should remake this (and they shouldn't), he isn't a terrible choice.

Posted by: Tyler, March 8, 2008 8:20 PM

9.

McGee is way ahead of Eli Roth (although the only Roth film I dislike is his debut, I have no problem with his Hostel films) and Rob Zombie in my book. But I think he's smart enough to NOT remake Suspiria. Not sure about Zombie of course.

Gordon Green is indeed a fine director and I am interested to see if he can direct a horror film, but just make a film about witches in a ballet school and call it "The Deadly Dance Academy".

Posted by: Marcus, March 8, 2008 9:52 PM

10.

I haven’t actually seen any of David Gordon Green’s films, so I can’t comment on his directorial abilities. Basing my opinion of him solely on these interviews, however, he comes across as a pompous and condescending egomaniac. George Washington may very well be a great film (I haven’t seen it, so I have no idea), but it hardly qualifies him to direct a remake of Suspiria.

As for Lucky McKee (it’s McKee, by the way, not McGee ;)), I’ve seen May, which I loved, and Sick Girl, which I enjoyed considerably. I haven’t seen The Woods yet, but it’s on my “to-watch” list. Based on the two films (or rather one film and one TV movie) of his that I’ve seen, I prefer him considerably to Eli Roth. I wouldn’t rush out to call him the future of horror or anything like that, though. He needs to get a few more films under his belt first, I think.

Rob Zombie, though, is another question entirely. I think The Devils’ Rejects is great, but having now seen his Halloween remake, I’m rapidly coming to consider Rejects a fluke.

Posted by: Whiggles, March 8, 2008 10:04 PM

11.

"It's McKee, not McGee."

Ooop. In my defence, I had just been reading a quite in-depth article about The Woods that spelt his name wrong (as I now realise) throughout the entire thing!

Sadly for McKee, his latest project (Red) appears to have been a bit of a disaster for him too, after the troubled making of The Woods.

Posted by: anephric, March 9, 2008 2:42 AM

Comments on this entry and all entries up to and including June 31st 2009 have been closed. The discussion continues on the new Land of Whimsy blog:

http://www.landofwhimsy.com

 

 
 
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