Ham and cheese
This morning, I received my invite for the ongoing online beta test for Electronic Arts' Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3. I've played a few matches so far (and received a royal whupping from my opponents on almost every occasion), and will be posting my impressions later, but for now I thought I'd share with you the deliciously dreadful trailer unveiling some of the "talent" that will be appearing in the game's live action full motion video (FMV) sequences.
From hopelessly inexperienced no-names to reasonably familiar veterans signing on to embarrass themselves, the FMV sequences for the Command & Conquer franchise are always a laugh riot. It seems to be tradition that they be as unconvincing and over the top as possible, peppered with dreadful dialogue, extreme overacting and some of the worst production values this side of a television show commissioned for BBC3. With Red Alert 3, it really looks as if EA have outdone themselves, peppering their cast with a diverse array of talents and no-talents, including everyone from Tim Curry (doink hees best Rrrrrrussian accent, comrade) to Jenny McCarthy to some blonde woman out of Channel 4's rubbish weekday soap opera, Hollyoaks (or, as the press release more grandly describes it, "the UK's Hollyoaks").
You can download the high definition QuickTime trailer from the official site, or, if that's too much effort, just feast your eyes at some of these choice screen captures and try to keep a straight face. It's much funnier in motion and with sound, though - if you can believe that.
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Posted: Wednesday, August 20, 2008 at 3:59 PM
| Comments: 6
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Games
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TV
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Comments
1.
Is that Jonathan Pryce in the fourth screen capture?
Posted by: colinr, August 21, 2008 6:38 PM
2.
Posted by:
Whiggles, August 21, 2008 6:48 PM
3.
I once played one of these games (Red Alert 2, I think). I concluded that the actors had to know that it was giant piss-take. I've not been able to see the trailer for this one, but I shouldn't be surprised if the same thing applies.
Even so, Jonathan Pryce? Ahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Posted by:
Baron Scarpia, August 21, 2008 11:50 PM
4.
Jenny McCarthy never did porno.
Posted by:
ARCVILE, August 22, 2008 4:00 AM
5.
Arcvile: Ah, okay, I must have been thinking of someone else. I've amended my post.
EDIT: Just realised who I was confusing her with - Jenna Jameson.
Posted by:
Whiggles, August 22, 2008 9:51 AM
6.
Baron:
Oh yes, there's definitely a degree of self-deprecation in these movies, but I do wonder to what extent this applies to the actors. In the press release, JK Simmons talks about it being "a great opportunity for a character actor like me to have some fun", but, in the case of the girl from Hollyoaks, where the production values, scripts and acting aren't a million miles away from these FMVs, you do have to wonder just how self-awareness she actually is.
Posted by:
Whiggles, August 22, 2008 4:48 PM
