He was a little wooden boy... now he's a little polygonal boy! A favorite tale is updated for a whole new generation!

YO BITCH!
Listen to the new Jiminy Cricket rap version of "Give a Little Whistle" performed by Eminem! [more]

KEEP IT REAL!
Nelly cast as the voice of Pinocchio! [more]

HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!
Britney Spears agrees to cameo in Pinocchio 3D! [more]

 

  

SONG OF THE SOUTH on DVD!

A timeless classic is released once more in a new and improved inoffensive edition! [more]

SPECIAL BONUS FEATURES:
- Tour of the Darcey reception desk by Flora the secretary
- New and improved: Uncle Remus is now white, removing any negative stereotypes!
- Audio commentary by Brer Rabbit and Brer Bear
- Deleted scene: Brer Fox and Brer Bear attend a Ku Klux Klan rally (with special introduction by Leonard Maltin)
- Digitally restored: so clean it looks like video
- New edition of "Zippidy-Doo-Dah" performed by Avril Lavigne! [more]
 

  

The world's most original director presents a new and improved cut of this obscure cult classic!

EXCLUSIVE:
Quentin Tarantino interviews Orson Welles (includes free Ouija board)! [more]

SPECIAL BONUS FEATURES:
- Audio commentary by presenter Quentin Tarantino, Quentin Tarantino's friend Uma Thurman and Quentin Tarantino's favorite director Dr. Uwe Boll!
- Quentin Tarantino's exclusive introduction
- Deleted scenes: what Quentin Tarantino decided didn't need to be in the film
- Kill Bill Vol. 3 trailer
- Citizen Kane, the outtakes: watch Orson Welles flub his lines and swear like a footballer!
- Free coupon for Kill Bill Vol. 1 Special Full Color Edition
 

Visit to find out what the hippest dawg in the Bronx is jammin' to! [more]



Finding Nemo 4 and 5 announced!
Featuring Haley Joel Osmont as the voice of Nemo and Rosie O'Donnell as Dory Jr! Read the latest details! [more]


D/L "A Whole New World (Kidz Bop version)" for your cellphone! [more]


Get homework help from everyone's favorite differently-abled duck! [more]


The exciting extravaganza produced by Tim Shoemaker! [more]
  TONIGHT'S SCHEDULE!
  6:00 P.M.
General Hospital
The colorful adventures of the employees of Port Charles Hospital. Tonight: Lorenzo Alcazar shoots Quentin Quartermaine. Felicia Jones Scorpio Jones enrolls in a beauty pageant. The paternity of Gabriela Garza's baby is questioned.

6:55 P.M.
Awesome Sounds
Music video featuring Sweden's latest Top 3000 sensation, the A-Teens.
 

   7:00 P.M.
Ellen
Hilarious comedy series set in a book store. In tonight's sweeps extravaganza, Ellen announces that she might be gay before going on a hot date with Joe.

7:30 P.M.
The John Ritter Show
Award-winning stand-up comedy featuring the exhumed corpse of the legendary John Ritter being wheeled around the stage while people laugh.
 

   8:00 P.M.
Alias
Ludicrously melodramatic globe-trotting espionage soap drama starring Jennifer Garner. Tonight, Cindy Barstool discovers that both her parents and her long-lost step-cousin faked their own deaths and are now wanted as Enemies of the State while the nefarious evil organization The Time Bandits plot to steal all the world's clocks. Quentin Tarantino guest stars as Hung Rockwell, the leader of the gang.
 		  
  AND WHAT'S ON TOMORROW?
  5:00 P.M.
General Hospital
Extra-long special to commemorate the show's 60th anniversary. Still reeling from the revelation that the now-dead Quentin Quartermaine is his father, a wounded Lorenzo Alcazar takes Felicia Jones Scorpio Jones hostage and barricades himself in the hospital's morgue, with only Felicia's beauty pageant trophy and the body of Gabriela Garza for company.
 		   7:00 P.M.
Ellen
Tonight, Ellen becomes a traveling carrot salesman as she tries to keep the secret of her new homosexual lifestyle from the censors.

7:30 P.M.
The John Ritter Show
John Ritter's corpse dances the can-can and is filled with dynamite by special guest Ashton Kutcher.
 

   8:00 P.M.
Alias
Tonight Cindy requires emergency rectal surgery performed by a descendant of Leonardo Da Vinci living in the Himalayas after an apple given to her the nefarious Eaton Slim (who has fallen in with rogue CIA faction MP-3) becomes lodged in her small intestine and begins acting as a tracking device. Meanwhile, Special Agent Marco Brawn wonders if Jock Barstool has been replaced by an impersonator.