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(*) Space Jam *
USA: Joe Pytka, 1996 The marketing executive's wet dream, this film would be an amusing satire of the mentality of these people if it wasn't real. Let's see, what do kids like? Aliens - check. Basketball - check. Bugs Bunny - check. All perfectly acceptable subjects for movies on their own, but who in their right mind would try to combine them together? This attrociously bad film sees Bugs Bunny and the other Looney Tunes enlist the aid of Michael Jordan in order to defeat a band of space invaders by playing a game of intergalactic basketball. Excited yet? Apart from being ridiculous in the extreme, this film rapes the personalities of the Looney Tunes and makes a bad joke out of cartoon characters that were once loved by millions but are here reduced to little more than brand names to be marketed. The film barely broke even, and rightly so: those responsible for this attrocity should not be employable. IMDB reference
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The Forgotten **½
USA: Joseph Ruben, 2004 This supernatural thriller vehicle for Julianne Moore is well acted and evocatively photographed, but that's about it. The story is duller than ditchwater for the majority of its running time, and then in the final act becomes so laughably ridiculous as to completely destroy my suspension of disbelief. The DVD features both the theatrical cut and an extended version with an alternate ending, and I'm still trying to describe which has the more rediculous conclusion. IMDB reference
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(*) Who Framed Roger Rabbit ***
USA/UK: Robert Zemeckis/Richard Williams, 1988 "Overrated" with a capital "O" is the best word to describe this brash, over-animated combination of cartoon characters and live action. While impressive on a technical level (at least for its time), and featuring a moderately engaging noir mystery, the style and excessive nature of the portrayal of the cartoon characters quickly wears thin. Roger Rabbit has got to be the most annoying talking bunny in existence, and the fact that he won't-fucking-stay-still-for-one-second is infuriating in the extreme. The dialogue seems to lurch between being very funny (love the jokes about Eddie Valiant's drinking habit) and cringe-worthy (the attempts at puns, usually from the mouths of the 'toons, are just annoying). An important film from a historical standpoint (it arguably ushered in the animation renaissance of the early 90s), but nothing like as good as people make out. IMDB reference
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A Lizard in a Woman's Skin ****
Original title: Una Lucertola con la Pelle di Donna
Italy: Lucio Fulci, 1971 I'm now fully prepared to admit that I may have underestimated Lucio Fulci as a director. Having only previously seen Don't Torture a Duckling and being impressed but hardly ecstatic about it, A Lizard in a Woman's Skin, his first giallo, has allowed me to see him in a whole new light. This delightfully messed-up, trippy, hallucinatory mystery combines wacky visuals, kooky characters and dodgy dealings galore to create an extremely involving and unpredictable mystery. Florinda Bolkan is solid in the role, essentially playing the same character later portrayed by Edwige Fenech in the similar All the Colours of the Dark a year later. IMDB reference
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Four Flies on Grey Velvet ****½
Original title: Quattro Mosche di Velluto Grigio
Italy: Dario Argento, 1971 Well, I've finally seen it. Okay, so it was on a crummy bootleg DVD-R obviously mastered from a beat-up 8th generation VHS tape, the colours were distorted, detail was non-existent, it was virtually impossible to make out what was going on in the night scenes and the audio was warped beyond recognition, but I've seen it. The most elusive of all Dario Argento's films, Four Flies has never seen an official release on DVD, and the prospect of that ever happening continues to look unlikely. Which is a damn shame, because in my opinion this is the best of his early "Animal" trilogy, elipsing The Cat O' Nine Tails and just managing to beat The Bird with the Crystal Plumage. It's certainly the most heavily stylized of the three, with superb camerawork and an off-beat, jaunty jazzy score by Ennio Morricone. Also, even though I already had read a number of analyses of the film and therefore knew not only who died but when and how, as well as the identity of the villain, the storyline was still hugely compelling and seeing it all unravel was a real treat. Please, please, please, someone give this film an official release so I can appreciate it fully. IMDB reference
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(*) The Spongebob Squarepants Movie ***½
USA: Stephen Hillenburg, 2004 Delightfully silly and delightfully funny animated tale. This movie is an absolute blast. SpongeBob may be a second-rate imitation of Ren & Stimpy, with some of the more annoying aspects of Rocko's Modern Life thrown in for good measure (SpongeBob creator Steve Hillenburg worked on that show), but the movie itself is a blast. It's a pleasure to see an actual CARTOON for once, and one that doesn't take itself seriously at that. Viva SpongeBob! Viva Patrick Starfish! Viva David Hasselhoff! IMDB reference
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Spider ***
Canada/UK: David Cronenberg, 2002 I've just seen Spider, after leaving it on the shelf for months. I must say I wasn't really impressed. The theme was interesting and was dealt with in an intriguing way, but it moves at a snail's pace and in terms of style lacks Cronenberg's usual flair. It just struck me as depressing - which, I guess, was the intention - and it's not a film I see myself revisiting too often. IMDB reference
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Girl, Interrupted ****
USA: James Mangold, 1999 Moving and deftly observed tale about a young woman (Winona Ryder) who is wrongly committed to a mental asylum in the 60s and finds out stuff about herself that she never realized before. A cliché it may be, but this is a "journey of self-discovery" and it's a great one at that. The performances are exceptional across the board (and, for once, I didn't want to strangle Whoopi Goldberg... well, maybe just a little), and although this is really more a series of events rather than a complete story, it flows well and succeeds in being an incredibly moving piece. A bit mawkish, maybe, but that's not necessarily a problem. IMDB reference
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The Passion of the Christ **
USA: Mel Gibson, 2004 Well, I've finally seen Splatterchrist. My parents rented the DVD: a good thing too, since I'll be damned if I want to spend money keeping afloat Mel Gibson's private island. And what a silly film it was! My dad, never one to mince his words, spent most of its duration laughing and talking to the television screen (he wanted to know how he could concentrate on his dinner if forced to read subtitles), while my mum, the semi-devout Christian of the family, watched in a fairly disinterested manner, wandering in and out of the room at regular intervals to fetch more food and drink. Clearly she knew this story already. Splatterchrist is a veritable mess of an exploitation flick that wallows in its own misguided pretentiousness and proceeds to bludgeon the viewer over the head to the extent that the violence loses all its power very quickly. At times the film is so ridiculous that it becomes funny, from the bullet-time coins thrown to Judas at the beginning to the number of slow motion shots of Jesus falling over to the hilarious Terminator-style resurrection at the end. Providing additional comedy value are the various conniving, hook-nosed Jews and pink-faced, mascara-laden Romans, who would probably be more at home in The Life of Brian. The special effects are excellent and Caleb Deschanel's photography is often inspired (if repetitive), but ultimately, with Gibson's blatant lack of tact and his absolute refusal to provide context of any kind - this feels like Act III of something much bigger - The Passion of the Christ just ain't that good. The film was certainly intriguing, don't get me wrong, but the blatant sadomasochism of the whole piece was a bit of a turn-off for me. Prepare to (snigger) crucify me, guys, but I prefer Braveheart. IMDB reference
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(*) The Church ***½
Original title: La Chiesa
Italy: Michele Soavi, 1988 IMDB reference
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(*) Who Saw Her Die? ****
Original title: Chi l'ha Vista Morire?
Italy: Aldo Lado, 1972 Watching this film again I must say I seriously underrated it last time round. Lado is without a doubt the master at creating a sadistic atmosphere, and Who Saw Her Die? might well be has strongest example of this. Venice really takes on a life of its own in what I'm sure must have at least provided some inspiration for Nicolas Roeg's Don't Look Now. IMDB reference
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Creep **
UK: Christopher Smith, 2004 Grim British monster movie featuring Franka Potente, an abandoned London Underground station, a creature who looks like Chai from Shenmue, and not much else. Potente does her best with the limp material, but unfortunately writer/director Smith's writing and directing skills are close to non-existant. The look of the film is characterised by grimy, badly framed and focused shots that are hapharzardly thrown up on the screen with little sense of pacing. Ultimately, it wants nothing more than to be a straightforward stalk-and-slash monster movie with loads of tension and some great kills. Unfortunately, though, it provides none of this. IMDB reference
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Movies
Welcome to the movie checklist!
This section is an archive listing every movie I've seen from January 1 2005 onwards. Films I have already seen are included and will be marked with a (*), but probably won't be reviewed except under special circumstances. I will be including a rating for each film (in stars, out of 5), and hope to be able to include a brief 1-2 paragraph review of each film, although due to time constraints that won't always be possible.
Archives
Films Viewed This Month
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