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Upcoming Zach Braff projects

Parma Violets’s post first drew this to my attention: Frametracker has written a very amusing article on (fake) future Zach Braff vehicles. The last one especially made me laugh:

Choosers Can’t Be Beggars

Willie (Zach Braff), a thriving Hollwood actor and future legend, is killed in a tragic car accident while being fellated simultaneously by his two bi-curious mistresses (Cameron Diaz and Kirsten Dunst). When he arrives in heaven, God (Woody Allen) tells him that, as a reward for his virtuous life and excellent, cutting-edge acting work, he can return to earth and take any woman he chooses as his wife. But who can choose, Willie? Who can choose?

Seriously, I quite liked Garden State, despite its pseudo-intellectual pretentious “I’m really deep but actually have nothing worthwhile to say” emo overtones, but bitch-slap articles like these are so dead-on it’s scary. I have nothing against Braff, you know, and enjoy his work on the brainless but amiable Scrubs when I’ve got nothing better to do with my time, but his profound(-but-actually-not-really) everyman schtick is beginning to wear a little thin.

 
Posted: Thursday, October 05, 2006 at 1:12 AM
Categories: Cinema | Web

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