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Everything that has a beginning has an end… thankfully, in this case


Four years late, I’ve finally seen The Matrix Revolutions. And what a turkey it was.

Lyris and myself were so repulsed by The Matrix Reloaded and how mind-numbingly awful it was that we didn’t even both seeing the third instalment in the trilogy when it came out in cinemas and on DVD. I always suspected that I’d end up watching it one of these days, though, and, tonight, we decided to bite the bullet and actually load it up on HD DVD. We had the presence of mind to set the microphone up and record our thoughts as we experienced the film for the first time, and we’re currently deciding whether or not our 129 minutes of mindless blethering can be salvaged into an audio commentary that people in their right mind would actually want to listen to. Certainly, it’s something of an eye-opener, as our initial surprise at getting something half-watchable rapidly degenerates into complete and utter frustration, following by unbridled hostility as the events on screen become sillier and more incomprehensible by the minute. Seriously, I think the phrase “So what’s actually happening?” must be uttered at least every ten minutes, and there is a point in the middle, during the 30-minute explosion reel - sorry, epic battle sequence - where we simply give up even trying to think of anything to say.

Seriously, this film, especially the first 45 minutes, was a definite step up from The Matrix Reloaded, but it quickly degenerated into yet more mindless drivel that was obtuse for the sake of it and didn’t make a blind bit of sense, perhaps even in the minds of its directors. Throw in some truly ham-fisted and unnecessary biblical imagery, a whole lot of pointless characters we don’t care about, and some truly awful dialogue about “choice” and “destiny”, and you have a film that, despite making up for some of the indignities inflicted upon us with the second instalment, only serves to intensify my belief that they should have stopped after the first one.

Posted: Thursday, May 17, 2007 at 9:33 PM | Comments: 8
Categories: Cinema | HD DVD



So, pretty much what I told you, then...

Having a background in philosophy, I'd love to see a philosopher's commentary on the trilogy that shows how shallow and/or nonsensical it all is. (The first film is saved by action scenes and visual effects that actually, you know, work)

On the other hand, there's only so many times you can say 'This is tripe'.

Posted by: Baron Scarpia, May 17, 2007 10:52 PM


Apparently, the Wachowskis’ original intention with the Ultimate Collection was to have four commentaries: positive and negative critic and philosopher tracks. They either ran out of space, time or money, and ended up going with positive philosophers and (semi-) negative critics.

Posted by: Whiggles, May 17, 2007 10:54 PM


"Four years late, I've finally seen The Matrix Revolutions. And what a turkey it was."

Wasn't worth the wait, was it? I thought Reloaded was more annoying, with all the smartypants chat and philosophising ("you knew that I knew that you were going to do that, but if you knew I knew what was going to happen then why did you still do it?" etc).

But Revolutions was just plain boring. And that battle sequence shows just how soulless CG FX are, compared with old-fashioned miniatures and man-in-suit monsters. It's just like watching somebody else play a computer game.

Posted by: Philly Q, May 18, 2007 12:13 AM


Once you know the background of how THE MATRIX "came to be" its easy to understand why the two sequels were so f*%#ing terrible! Joel Silver and co simply stole the story, idea, premise... everything to "create" their film.

Sophia Steward amazing original idea was stolen from her!
But she's a black lady so who cares.... right.

Posted by: ARCVILE, May 18, 2007 3:46 AM


I can't wait to hear the battle for Zion in Dolby TrueHD.

Posted by: Jayson Sehn, May 18, 2007 4:37 PM


Positive philosophers? How on Earth could they ever defend Reloaded?

Honest to God, I watched scenes from that film time and time again to try and work out what was going on. (I consequently have a deep loathing of the Merovingian restaurant scene in particular) I concluded that what was being said was either a) true but banal, or b) a load of tosh that made no sense.

Posted by: Baron Scarpia, May 18, 2007 9:51 PM


Well, one of them had a bit part in the two sequels. That probably explains a lot.

Seriously, I’m going to have a listen to those philosopher commentaries before too long. I’m genuinely curious as to what they manage to come up with.

Posted by: Whiggles, May 18, 2007 9:53 PM


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