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The wonder of Victoria Alexander


Earlier tonight I soliloquised about Mark Kermode and his deliciously brutal reviews. Now I present the work of another reviewer for your pleasure. Unlike Kermode, she doesn’t have podcasts or vodcasts, but she more than makes up for this technological deficiency for being madness personified.

Ever wanted to read a review in which women are decried as irresponsible for resisting rape? Check out her thoughts on 28 Days Later.

Not sure whether you liked the remake of The Omen? Well, neither is she, judging by her write-up, but hey, at least it’s apparently “better than the original since a 30 year-old [huh?] Mia Farrow runs off with the deaf-mute [huh?] Antichrist”. Huh?????

Who ever saw the original version of The Wicker Man? Not Ms. Alexander, and apparently not many other people according to her. But apparently there’s a lot to like in the remake, including a “stringent lesbian cult”. She was also surprised by the ending.

Think Jarhead was disappointing for being “a war movie with not one shot fired, no visible enemy, and soldiers standing around in the desert” that’s “[m]ore gay than Capote”? You’ll love her appraisal of it.

Oh, and want to find more obscure and derogatory references to homosexuality? She’s written over 600 reviews, so take your pick.

Having examined the evidence, I can only conclude that either we are the victims of an elaborate practical joke, or Ms. Alexander is certifiably insane. Credit where credit’s due to Parma Violets for pointing the ramblings of this demented crone out to me.

Oh, and she’s the one who praised Norbit for its positive portrayal of fat black women.

Posted: Monday, December 10, 2007 at 11:21 PM
Categories: Cinema | Reviews | Web

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